Its 4:43 AM now & I woke up just to keep myself hydrated. So I convinced myself that from now, he's nothing. Basically, my days going without him weren't that bad. So I packed all the stuff he gave me last night. All his shirts hoodies and every little things he gave me including my birthday present. Eventhough I have so little cash now, I dont mind to spend them to post him these things cse I don't feel like keeping it any longer.

I went through all the things in my phone to erase every little things that I kept about him. The pictures, videos notes & everything. Cse it doesnt means anything to me anymore. So I found alot of things he told me not to do, but at the end, he is the who who did it. 

So irony, it is. He told me "dont give up even when u think it is so hard for you to accept me". Now, he is the one who told me that he can't stand me. But, I am okay. I understand that I am made not for everyone to accept. I fully understand how hard it is to deal with me & I am fully understand why if one day you will say the things you say.

I hope years from now you will look back to the all the things that you ever said for me that night. Maybe it only hurts me that time but it will hurts you, your whole existence. Maybe if you tell people about us, they will disagree. I am overly-attached? Only to you. And I am not sure if you still remember you always want to follow me going everywhere with my friends eventhough you're the only guy. Try to get into the crowd with my classmates when we went for paranormal thingy. I don't know if you remember you being overly attached to me.

You said i control you? I hope one day you will remember how you would text Ozil which is my senior to not letting me to sit next to any guy in a car when we went to paranormal thingy without you. It was embarassing, but it happened. I hope you realised how you followed me everywhere I go with my friends and told me not to do this and that. You never remember the moments where you control me, but its okay.

I'm so glad that I will never have to see you over again. And I believes this heartaches will go away together with you soon. I think if one day you come up to me and say that you're sorry, I don't even know if I could ever forgive you.